All of my "free" time is spent cleaning up their muck from the few hours they spend at home every day. I am stuck in this house every day of my life. I never get a chance to go HOME from work and destress, as my work IS my home. I have no time for outside interests, as all of my time is spent getting them to and from THEIR outside interests. I could join a gym, a quilting bee, a knitting guild; however, then the muck that they leave behind every time I turn around would begin to reproduce, and then we'd ALL be in trouble!
So...what's a gal to do? I'm sinking, folks, have been for a while...and I can feel the decent gaining momentum. I hate feeling like my home, like my FAMILY are a prison...yet that's how I feel. All of my attempts to shove these feelings aside and tell myself that what I'm doing is important have been in vain. Being at home ALL of the time, where the most important contribution I make to the world is cleaning a litter box and running a vacuum is just draining me of happiness. Most days I'm so miserable that I sit in a funk and brood...and that is just not acceptable.
I've tried to explain this to my husband, and to be fair he does TRY to help. Sort of. As much as a man who really has no idea where his wife is coming from can. He wants me to join a quilting bee, volunteer at the library, etc., but I don't think he's hearing me when I tell him that there is no time to, with the mess that awaits me every day of my life. He doesn't seem to understand that the shaving cream doesn't put itself back in the bathroom cabinet, that the dishes don't do themselves, that the kids sports & music equipment doesn't organize itself.
*sigh* Maybe I'm the one who's not hearing him. I don't know. I just know that this gloomy cloud that has been hanging over me needs to let the sun break through. I'm just worn out with this.